A Very Nietzschean Christmas
by jaderaid
Summary: Season 1 before the Nietzschean uprising. Gaheris Rhade learns about Christmas. In three parts, Christmas Music, Mistletoe, and Presents. Enjoy! Just mindless fluff.
1. Part One: Christmas Music

A/N: I couldn't help myself! I had to write a Gaheris Christmas fic! I don't know if anyone will like it, but here it is anyhow. **It takes place before the Nietzschean uprising against the Commonwealth.** I love Gaheris, and am so sad that no one besides a few other people and me put Gaheris in their fanfics. Anyhow, love y'all, love Gaheris, and** please review! **I might write a Season 2 (Tyr), S3 (Gaheris), S4 (Telemachus), and S5 (Telemachus) Very Nietzschean Christmas if I have time, but don't count on it. Depends on what the Mominator has in store for me to completely ruin my day. (My mom. :_shudder_:)

Disclaimer: C'mon, people. If i owned Andromeda, at the end of the 'Unconquerable Man' Gaheris wouldn't have died, Telemachus would have joined the crew right at the end of Home Fires, Telemachus would NEVER have fallen in love with Louisa... get the picture? :P

A Very Nietzschean Christmas, S1 (Gaheris)

By Meg Jordan

Part One: Christmas Music

"Would you turn that _off_?" Gaheris Rhade, Executive Officer of the warship _Andromeda Ascendant_ squeezed his eyes shut in pain and annoyance.

"It's Christmas music, Rhade," Andromeda replied matter-of-factly.

"I don't care what it is, just turn it off!"

The annoyingly cheerful bells and drums cut off, and Gaheris opened his eyes to see the hologram standing in front of him with her arms crossed. "Dylan ordered I play it," she pouted.

"That's a problem that can be remedied," Gaheris replied. As soon as he opened the door out of his quarters, his ears were assaulted by that annoying music again.

"Ship, where's Dylan?" Gaheris asked loudly over the music.

"The party on Obs Deck."

"_Party_? For what?"

"Christmas."

Gaheris threw his hands in the air. "Why are we celebrating a holiday from ancient Earth?"

"I think it's cute, Rhade," Andromeda's hologram said. "And besides, people give you things for free. They're called 'presents'."

"What does one give a warship?" Gaheris asked.

"Maybe I'll get an avatar built for me like the Pax Magelanic," Andromeda replied snottily. "What does one give a Nietzschean?"

Gaheris bit his tongue; realizing 'sex' wasn't the answer Andromeda was looking for. "What you can get me for this annoying holiday is to _turn off that music!_"

"I need a direct order from Dylan," Andromeda said, disappearing.

Gaheris looked longingly back at his quiet quarters, then at the long, music-filled corridors leading to the Obs Deck. "Maybe I can sleep through this annoying holiday," he muttered to himself, retreating into the silence of his quarters.


	2. Part Two: Mistletoe

Part Two- Mistletoe

In the morning, Gaheris opened the door to find that annoying music still playing in the halls. Worse, there was now silver garland lining the walls. "Oh no," he groaned.

"Morning, Commander," Lieutenant Refractions of Dawn greeted him as he walked onto Command.

"Yeah, and a shitty morning it is, too," Gaheris replied unhappily. The music was irritating him beyond all reason. If he heard one more rendition of 'Silver Bells'...

"Captain Hunt said you're off today."

"Awfully generous of him," Gaheris noted.

"Commander, you might want to move," Andromeda said later. Gaheris had decided that to make Dylan happy he would stand ion the Obs Deck and pretend like he was enjoying himself.

"Why?"

"You're under the mistletoe."

Gaheris looked confused. "So?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." Andromeda said smirking as the viewscreen image cut off.

"What's mistletoe?" Gaheris muttered, looking up at the plant hanging above him.

"I'll show you," a soft voice said. Gaheris looked to see a young human woman walking toward him.

"Okay, uhhh..." Gaheris paused, trying to remember her name.

"Anya," the woman filled in for him. She then reached up, wrapped her arms around Gaheris's shoulders and kissed him. "Merry Christmas, Commander," Anya said, breaking away and walking back toward the punch bowl.

Gaheris immediately let after that, and he could hear Andromeda laughing at him.

**A/N: Please review?**


	3. Part Three: Presents

Part Three- Presents

Gaheris survived the next week or so by constantly applying for shore leave to go home. At least at home he could be with his wives and children instead of putting up with this... Christmas.

When he opened the door to his quarters, he tripped over a large pile of wrapped boxes in front of his quarters.

"Ship," Gaheris said as calmly as he could.

"Yes, Rhade?"

"What are _these_," he gestured at the pile.

"Presents."

"From whom?"

"Almost every female humanoid on board," Andromeda replied, smirking.

"Why?"

"They think you're attractive."

Gaheris felt a slight flush rise into his cheeks as his eyebrows rose. Then he had an idea that would make this Christmas more bearable.

"How many are Nietzschean?"

"Six."

Gaheris smiled for the first time since this 'Christmas' had started. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he had feared... who knows, maybe one of the females would chose him as her male...

"Merry Christmas, Rhade."

The End 

**REVIEW PLEASE!! Thanks to my buddy Sam (Maglenan Princess) who let me read it to her over the phone! Love ya!**


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